When Phil Waldrep received a letter from a desperate mom whose son had strayed far from his faith, he couldn't get her words out of his mind. Her plea sent him on a quest to understand so called prodigals (those who have turned away from the faith of their upbringing) and to find ways to help the families left behind.
Phil says he wants to give hope to those who have had someone they love walk away from faith. He sat down with a focus group of 30 prodigals and really dived into their stories and why they are where they are. People in all different places in life and asked them to be honest. He discovered that almost all prodigals think the same way.
His book "Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now?" is based on the story of the prodigal son in the Bible. He calls it the story of the wonderful father. When Jesus told that story in the gospel of Luke Chapter 15, the focus is on what the father did right rather than the waywardness of the son. That father was so loving. The father never went after the son. He waited until the son was broken and then came back. Jesus told this story to really teach about His love and how he goes after us. The man had 2 sons, the younger son said give me my inheritance, and I will leave. He went to live and he left his Jewish culture, the country, left his family, he abandoned everything. For a while it was great. Then he became desperate. He was hungry and he became so desperate that he ended up feeding pigs. For a Jewish boy that was the total abandonment of everything he was taught as a child. While he was in the pig pen, he came to himself and realized the servants his father had were living better than he was living. He decided to go to his father. He didn't ask the question can I go home because the father had removed all the barriers but instead he said I am not sure if I will be a servant or whether I'll be a son. When he came home his father ran and kissed him and decided to celebrate that his son was home.
Phil says that is what he longs for every parent/grandparent who has a child that has walked away. That they get to have the time where they come home to the family and spiritually.
Phil shares that having a broken moment is key to prodigals coming home. Sometimes as parents we rush in to rescue/fix our prodigals and we never let them face the consequences of what they did wrong. We need to give tough love and allow our prodigals to face consequences of their decisions. We need to allow them to feel the pain of the choices they've made. It hurts our hearts but sometimes that's the only thing that brings brokenness into their life. Until someone is broken they are not really going to return spiritually or literally to their family.
In the story Jesus tells when the prodigal comes home the father doesn't lord it over him. We need to guard our words. Sometimes when prodigals come home if we aren't careful we send them back by demanding an explanations, apologies. Focus on them being home, not on what they did when they were away. We don't need to be validated by our kids. The fact that they have come home validates us enough. The Heavenly Father has forgiven our children's sins just as He has forgiven our sins. If the Heavenly Father doesn't bring up our past, we shouldn't bring up the past of our prodigal. We need to extend Gods grace.
Some people have been waiting and praying a long time for their prodigal. What if our prodigal never comes home? Phil says we always need to have an environment in which they can come home. For every prodigal there comes a point where they really evaluate their life, where they are and we want to make sure we have done everything so there is no barriers for them to come home. Never lose hope because many come back to the Lord, even later in life. You may not see it in your lifetime. Sometimes it is the death of a parent or a grandparent that gets the attention of a prodigal.
Another key for prodigals is to not criticize the people they have in their life. For most people we don't listen to our parents, as much as we do to our peers. Even if you are a Baptist and someone from the Anglican church is impacting your prodigal, you could be criticizing them about the denomination. Do not be critical but rejoice.
First thing they can do to help change the life of their prodigal is to get over the guilt, stop feeling guilty. You probably did nothing wrong. It is not always bad parenting. Your child had a choice and they chose to walk away. You can do everything right as a parent and still have a child that walks away.
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